Follow Your Heart

I've been super busy lately. With what? Life. I took a 'me' day yesterday and shopped for myself. I bought three gorgeous dresses and I'm overjoyed with them! I bought them for my trip next week - I'm going to California! It's for Drake's business trip, but I've never been and I've always wanted to go! I'm going to be 100% bright-eyed an bushy-tailed upon arrival. Now I just need a working camera... my camera was shipped to a wrong address so it's being sent back to Canon then overnighted to my grandmothers' address. It should be here Tuesday. I hope so. I'm just praying next week is the week I've been hoping for. I need this. Drake needs this. I know that they say that God won't give you more than you can handle; I'm at my breaking point. I spent the past week and a half at my mothers. I took some time to relax and re-coop. I went to my new super-amazing family doctor and he put me on some medication that I'm not too fond of. Yes, it's making my moods stable and whatnot. I don't like how it makes it hard for me to concentrate. I don't like how tired it makes me. Other than that, it's a-okay. I'm also on metformin 1000mgs for my PCOS. I've heard there are bad, bad side-effects. I haven't felt any as of yet -knock on wood- and I'm hoping not to! I need to find a PCOS support group though. I went to a gyno and that's what he put me on. I did my yearly - which was really painful! - and we talked about pregnancy + PCOS + Factor V. It's possible, I just need to come off of coumadin. That meaning I go back on shots in the stomach. I want to do this though. I want to have a mini-me or mini-Drake or mini-LaurDrake running around. I do. Drake wants that, too. I want to give it to him. I don't know if I'm mentally stable right now to do so, but I'm hoping soon. I don't want to jump into this and have a baby 'cause it seems to be the cool thing to do. I want to do it logically. I want there to be meaning behind it. My parents and grandparents keep telling me to go back to school, etc etc. I'm not ready for that. School just isn't for me. I'd much rather be a stay at home mom or housewife. I just need to learn how to cook. Hrmmm. I just need time to learn who I am and figure myself completely out. School was getting in the way of that. Maybe I'll take a few photography classes next semester to better myself. Just maybe. I won't give up my photography though.. I've come too far to throw the towel in and give up. Drake should be out of the shower soon, and I'm bad wanting to curl up in bed and talk to him all night. I miss him so much.

 

Love, Lauren Ashley and Drake